‘Cause these words are knives and often leave scars

[cherryblossomnoose]

Emotion had over come him. Never in his life had he felt something so intensely, something so real. There was always the pain of others he had helped. Despite being able to feel those emotions, Subaru had never truly comprehended the full extent of them.

Seishiro had lost the use of his right forever because of him. It was all his fault that he'd been injured.

As he began to come to though, he was not in the bed he'd fallen asleep in. His body slowly rose, his head throbbing from all of the crying he'd done. A simple look around told him he wasn't in his apartment. Despite his sorry state, his senses focused, looking for anyone or anything that might have caused this, spiritual or otherwise. Slowly, Subaru stepped out of the bed, eyes darting around the surroundings.

There was nothing magical, not that he could sense anyway. Unfortunately, that made him more wary than not.

Comments

[secondhandeye]

He hesitated, considering it again. All the implication of it.

Finally he nodded softly. If he even remembered, he couldn't stop it. Not if it was meant to be.

"It was a job of mine. The girl...she went after him with a knife. Caught his left eye."

[cherryblossomnoose]

Subaru nodded. It was the job he had just completed. He could hardly believe that it had happened, but...it had.

"If I had moved...he wouldn't have lost his eye."

He was still blaming himself, still torn up about the entire thing. He looked down, his chest tight with emotion.

[secondhandeye]

"Yes. But that's the way things happened. There is no changing it."

His words were harsh. Especially consider that it was something he often let his mind wander to, guilt he often wrapped himself up in.

Part of him wanted to warn this boy, to steer his life in some way positive.

But that wasn't how it went.

[cherryblossomnoose]

They cut deep. He knew words could be used like knives, but for the other to lash out like that, on a wound that was so fresh made him sink to his knees and bury his face into his hands. There was no way to change it, there was no doubt in that. Did Seishiro die that day? Was he to blame for it all?

Is that why he had Seishiro's eye here? His head spun with questions, and conclusions. His hand dropped to the floor, steadying himself from collapsing.

"There's not. I know there's not."

[secondhandeye]

"Don't."

How could he be saying this? He was no better. Even now, he held the guilt to him, so tightly. It was part of him, it formed the structure of who he was now, and he couldn't imagine living without it.

But what if he had?

"Don't blame yourself. He doesn't deserve it."